I’ve heard it too many times.
“My friend’s accountant is amazing – he claimed her makeup, her holiday to Marbella, even the birthday cake she bought for her dog.”
Right. And I’m guessing he’ll be just as amazing when HMRC come knocking?
Let’s get one thing straight: just because your friend’s tax return looks like a Pinterest board of personal indulgences doesn’t mean it’s clever accounting. It means their accountant is either clueless, careless… or has a very bold attitude to prison food.
I know it feels unfair. You’re playing by the rules, keeping receipts, claiming what’s reasonable, and along comes someone saying, “Well, everyone’s doing it and they’re fine!”
That’s not a tax strategy. That’s peer pressure with a side of fraud.
Because here’s the thing: when HMRC decides to investigate, they don’t look at your friend. They look at you. And if your return includes a spa weekend labelled “wellness workshop” or a bag of MAC products listed under “client entertainment”… you’re on your own. That accountant won’t be anywhere in sight.
A good accountant (hello 👋) won’t just tell you what you can do. I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t, even if it makes me a little less “fun” at parties. My job is to protect your business, not squeeze in every dodgy expense under the sun.
Because you know what’s actually clever?
Being audit-proof. Sleeping well. Growing your business on solid ground — not pretending your sunlounger in Santorini was a board meeting.
So next time someone tells you, “My accountant puts everything through the business,” maybe ask them for their prison visiting schedule too.
